Tessa and Amir Shoot the Breeze with the Brilliant Carl Honoré in Episode 17

We had such a nice conversation with Carl about how we can slow down and get more out of life. How we can savor. How we can find time to do the things that we want to do.

Carl explained the “slow eating movement.” Lingering over a meal. He pointed out that the word “companion,” from the original Latin root, means “to break bread.” Re-capturing that joy of making food is something that he believes will be something that more will focus on in the future. His children have embraced that behavior with their culinary pursuits.

Carl has observed that as we age and get closer to death we start to live more. We want to make more of the time we have left.

Carl coined the phrase “the ageist industrial complex.” Aging can get you “written off from the boardroom to the bedroom.” Some what recently in our society we have broken off into “age silos” – which is contrary to all of human history.

Writer, Teacher… Ted-Talker

Highlights from the Interview

On Dating

I [Tessa] asked Carl about why we lower our ages on dating apps. Carl suggested that we are planting a not very healthy seed if we begin a relationship based on a lie. Carl suggested that maybe age is just not something that should be put in a profile. What defines you are the music you hear, what books you read, what stories you can tell. These are the things that matter so much more than age.

Some Advice from Carl Honoré

• Don’t buy anything that says “anti-aging”
  • Who needs the reminder that we are all growing older?
• Avoid saying things like
  • Feeling my age
  • Acting my age
  • Senior Moment

… they just box us in to the idea that aging is all decline and loss. The words we use matter.

• Seek out role models
• The crucial pivot is to take an event in your life (like a physical twinge) and turn it into the next thing. If you cannot play tennis, play pickleball – for example.
• Think of aging as a video game… level 53 (53 years old) ends with accomplishments – getting you to level 54.

On Being an Open Nester

Carl feels more closeness with his wife after the kids have moved out. He has tried not to helicopter on social media about his kids. He suggests it is healthier to have them come to you with their stories.

Carl and his son have carved out a new experience together through their love for Chelsea Football Club. They now watch Chelsea together – apart. They put the games on wherever they are and chat while jointly watching football.

How to stay Fresh

Seek out Novelty

• Do not view the same websites all the time
• Change your routine – take a different route from point A to B
• Listen to music from different sources, from different eras

Amir shared a great anecdote about web development and WordPress… leaning how to build great blogs and web pages. Yes, it can be frustrated but he works his way through it and feels such a sense of accomplishment afterward.

On Sex and Sexuality

You need to hear Carl yourself describe sex as we age. He is so articulate – it is very much worth a listen toward the end of the episode.

Carl has so many wonderful projects and programs and content to offer – you really deserve a visit to his website.

The Books

Carl’s first book, In Praise of Slow, chronicles the global trend toward putting on the brakes in everything from work to food to parenting. The Financial Times said it is “to the Slow Movement what Das Kapital is to communism.”

Carl’s second book, Under Pressure explores how to raise and educate children in a fast world and was hailed by Time as a “gospel of the Slow Parenting movement.” 

Carl’s third book, The Slow Fix, explores how to tackle complex problems in every walk of life, from health and relationships to business and politics, without falling for superficial, short-term quick fixes.

Carl’s latest book, Bolder: Making The Most Of Our Longer Lives, explores ageing – how we can do it better and feel better about doing it. It’s a spirited manifesto against ageism.

Here is a link to Carl’s Ted Talk on Aging.

Watch Carl’s Ted Talk in praise of slowness.