Revealing Pleasure – The P.A.R.N. Approach to Play and Intimacy

with Steve and Shane (S5 | E179)

[Tessa] In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, we dive deep into the concept of “open nesting,” a refreshing take on the empty nest phase of life. Instead of viewing the absence of children as a void, we explore how it can lead to an abundance of new experiences, connections, and personal growth. Amir and I had the pleasure of welcoming back Shane Kulman, one of our favorite guests from Season One, who is joined by her new partner, Steve Bedansky. Together, they embody the spirit of open nesting, sharing their journeys towards embracing love and intimacy in this exciting stage of life. Revealing Pleasure, This week on The Open Nesters Podcast.

Sensuality & Intimacy

Shane kicks off the conversation by recounting a whimsical story from her past about encountering Steve at a seminar on extended massive orgasm years ago. She expresses her initial disinterest in the attendees and her desire to meet the instructor—little did she know that many years later, they would connect in a meaningful relationship. Steve shares his background as a seasoned expert in sensuality and intimacy, stemming from a long and loving marriage. This foundation sets the stage for a heartfelt discussion on how love can be both rediscovered and expanded as we navigate through life’s different chapters.

Time Code | Revealing Pleasure

30:11 Partnering for Pleasure
33:06 Embracing Pleasurable Grief

Shane and Steve highlight the transformative power of vulnerability in relationships. They delve into their use of the PARN acronym—Play, Attention, Revealing, and Noticing— which serves as a playful framework for enhancing intimacy and communication. Shane, with her expertise in play, emphasizes that infusing fun into relationships can dissolve awkwardness and create space for deeper connections. Steve adds that attentiveness is crucial for reciprocal appreciation and intimacy, allowing both partners to express themselves authentically without fear of judgment.

Their discussion touches on the importance of training and skills, mainly how understanding the nuances of pleasure can greatly improve intimacy. They also address common misconceptions about aging and sexuality, encouraging listeners to embrace the idea that pleasure and connection can extend well into one’s later years.

Shane offers practical advice, reminding us to be playful and lighthearted in our approach to dating and relationships—humming tunes, laughing off mishaps, and accepting ourselves as we are instead of striving for perfection. Revealing Pleasure.

As they share their own experiences of starting fresh in a new relationship, Shane and Steve convey a sense of hope to listeners navigating similar journeys. They remind us that love doesn’t have an expiration date and that opening our hearts to new connections can lead to unexpected joy. Through shared laughter and candid stories, they explore how the dynamics of romance can shift at this stage in life, where vulnerability and openness can flourish.

Revealing Pleasure | Let’s Wrap Up

Together, Shane and Steve create a vibrant atmosphere of acceptance and joy, inviting listeners to view the empty nest not as a time of loss, but as an opportunity for exploration, connection, and growth. Their journey is a testament to the love that can blossom at any age and the beauty of building new relationships with an open heart and mind.

Resources for You

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness, relationship fluidity in the empty nest, and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

About Tessa

Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters.

Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program, and journey facilitator & leader, author and, of course, Podcaster.

Her offerings are based on her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature. If she had one superpower, it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open-hearted lives.

Please email Tessa to make a connection. If you like, please answer the question:

What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE…