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From Empty to Open: Reimagining Family Bonds in the Nesting Transition
with Zev Aaron (S5 | E191)
[Tessa] Zev Aaron, Transformational Coach, brings such a profound understanding to family life. Being the youngest of a big, blended family, he got a front-row seat to the whole “empty nest” journey even before it was his turn. He watched his parents navigate it as the last of his siblings left, and that really shaped his perspective. From a special education teacher to a Yale researcher, his path led him to become this amazing family coach. He’s not a therapist, but a guide, helping families “unblock” the flow of love and connection. His core belief, which I just love, is that if one person in the family is struggling, the whole family is. It’s all about transforming anxiety into comfort and safety.
Unblocking Resentment: The Zen of Letting Go
Zev has this playful yet fundamental question: “Why can’t we all just get along?” He identifies resentment as a huge “love blocker” in families. It’s those old hurts that go unseen and unaddressed, just festering. His approach is brilliant – he creates a safe space for these stories to be heard and validated, no judgment, no trying to convince anyone they’re wrong.
He shared this wonderful Zen story about two monks and a rude empress, where the older monk simply “puts that weight down a long time ago.” That’s exactly what Zev helps families do: release that heavy baggage of old stories and choose a new narrative. It’s about growth, reinvention, and letting love flow freely again.
The Art of “Open” Parenting: Boundaries and Empowerment
We also delved into the practical side of Open Nesting, especially how our relationships with our adult kids evolve. Zev emphasized the importance of boundaries, particularly around finances. He shared how he and his wife established clear guidelines with their daughter about money and responsibility, fostering self-sufficiency rather than entitlement.
It’s not about being unloving, but about empowering our kids to truly “come alive.” As I pointed out, if we’re constantly bailing them out, that “honey on top” might actually be doing more harm than good. Every family is unique, and what works for one child might not work for another. It really highlights how crucial open communication and a healthy foundation are to navigating these nuanced conversations.
The Blessing of the Open Nest: Gratitude and Redefinition
And then we talked about the idea of blessing, which is such a powerful concept. Zev is a big advocate for a gratitude practice within families. When you focus on what’s working – like the simple joy of your kids being safe, healthy, and happy – it shifts the entire family’s outlook. It doesn’t mean ignoring challenges, but choosing to prioritize the positive connections.
For us Open Nesters, the blessing extends to the invaluable role grandparents can play. Zev truly sees those grandparents “courageous enough to consider a healing path” as legacy makers. They can create a ripple effect of healing across generations. It’s a disservice, he argues, when unresolved family dynamics prevent grandparents from actively connecting and supporting their children and grandchildren.
This whole conversation beautifully captured what Open Nesting is all about: reimagining success in our family relationships, moving beyond perfection to embrace authentic connection, and being willing to step into discomfort for the sake of deeper love and understanding. It’s an invitation to proactively invest our time and emotional energy into nurturing these vital bonds. As Zev powerfully put it, “I refuse to allow blessed families to continue not feeling the full extent of their blessing.”
If you’re feeling touched by this and curious about how Zev can help your family find more ease and peace, I highly recommend reaching out. You can find him at ZevAarons@gmail.com, and we’ll have links in the show notes for his Instagram and Facebook. He offers a free call for anyone interested.
Remember, Open Nesters, your well-being is deeply connected to the harmony of your family. Opening our hearts and homes to endless possibilities isn’t just a choice—it’s a profound act of self-care and a beautiful legacy of love.
Resources for You
We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:
