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Not Your Grandma’s Monogamy
(Season 2 | Episode 57)
Not Your Grandma’s Monogamy
[Tessa] The wisdom you will find in this podcast may just last a lifetime. Tammy has identified the essence of monogamy and asks all the right questions. I guarantee that her words in this podcast will open your eyes about your own relationship.
I have known Dr. Tammy Nelson for many years. It is a true pleasure to welcome her voice onto our podcast!


An Excerpt from Our Show
[Tammy] Monogamy is not synonymous with morality. It’s not like, “Okay, if I never sleep with anyone else, then we’ve obeyed our promise to each other.” The promise is really that we’re gonna be really honest; that’s what gives our relationship integrity. That’s the promise. You don’t have to trade your partner in for someone else. Maybe there’s nothing wrong with your relationship. If there’s something difficult, maybe it’s the agreement that has to be changed, not your partner that has to be changed.
And Just a Few Facts (That Will Open Your Eyes!)
- Ashley Madison is a website for people who want to cheat on their spouses. There are 70 million members on this website (verified by Ernst & Young)
- In a recent survey, 76% of members would rather tell their spouses about having an affair than sneak around.
- More women than men are happy in open relationships: the majority of people in an open relationship are happy
Dr. Tammy Nelson
Tammy Nelson, PhD is a sex and relationship expert, an international speaker, an author and a licensed psychotherapist with almost thirty years of experience working with individuals and couples. In private practice she focuses on helping people of all ages, orientations and genders find love, healing and passion.
Tammy Nelson, Ph.D. is the Director of the Integrative Sex Therapy Institute and has been a licensed sex and relationship therapist in practice for over thirty years. She teaches at several Universities, is a TEDx speaker and is the host of the podcast The Trouble with Sex.
Tammy is a Board Certified Sexologist, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Certified Imago Relationship therapist, and a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselor. She is the author of When You’re The One Who Cheats, Ten Things You Need to Know, The New Monogamy; Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity and Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together as well as What’s Eating You: A Workbook for Teens with Anorexia, Bulimia, and other Eating Disorders and her most recent project Integrative Sex & Couples Therapy.
She has many other eBooks including Six Weeks to Erotic Recovery, as well as chapters and articles on topics ranging from sexuality, desire, affair recovery, monogamy issues, open marriage, online infidelity, intentional divorce, passionate relationships and everything related to couples.
She consults with institutes, think tanks and corporations on communication, integrity, and relationships. At this time of great global stress, Dr. Tammy helps people cope with working from home, disruption across all industries and social distancing.
She has been a featured expert in NY Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Glamour Magazine, Cosmopolitan, RedBook, MSNBC, Men’s Health, Woman’s Day, and has been a source for Time Magazine. She writes for the Psychotherapy Networker, is a blogger for Huffington Post and YourTango, and can be followed on Facebook, Twitter and her blog.
Resources for You
We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:
The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group
- ask to join and we’ll let you in
Thank you for interviewing Tammy Nelson. This episode is so well done – such great, timely information for us “Open Nesters” who are interested in exploring all the possibilities life and the world have to offer. I am going to purchase her book and am looking forward to this week’s episode on estrangement! (also very timely information).