I Want That and More with Jahaira and Marvin

(The Open Nesters Episode 11)

If You Only Have a Minute For Us Push Play to Listen to a Summary.

In this Episode 11 we meet Jahaira and Marvin who are swingers who really never stopped swinging, even when they became polyamorous. These are our good friends from way back when we were exploring all sides of our own relationships and sexuality. They have a full-fledged “quad open relationship.” And we hear about Jahaira’s “I want that” moment.

Jahaira came from a very formal background. Her parents were never allowed to be alone together. In fact Jahaira was born nine months to the day of her parents’ marriage. She comes from a Latino household, and had so many questions at a young age. For a moment she thought that she was gay… yet was also attracted to boys.

Marvin’s parents were from the Caribbean and had a strong work and life ethic. Sturdy, traditional, conservative are good words to describe his parenting and background. Together these two “did everything in the right way.” Yet they made the transition to “more their relationship”… namely non-monogamy.

After Becoming a Couple

Jaharia has always been such a curious person… which led her to one-night-stands. She knew she was taking risks and Marvin began to ask lots of questions. And Jahaira was always 100% honest, acknowledging that she was “pushing things.” Once in New York they had a lot of fun socially, in clubs, with others interested in swinging. And there, Jahaira found out that she enjoyed sex with women too. Lots of fun. Yet they shared with us that fact that swinging was really not that satisfying to them.

I WANT THAT!

And it was at a party when Jahaira and Marvin met a woman who was accompanied by her husband… and boyfriend. Jahaira was impressed. To say the least. And she knew that this kind of relationship was what she wanted. Really wanted!!!

Marvin’s Wisdom: “Jealousy is a selfish emotion.”

Marvin was able to understand and deal with jealousy. Yet that was challenged when Jahaira fell for another man. He became the “home person” while Jahaira had her “fantasy person.” And this caused them to have to learn how to bring the right love and energy to the home… beyond the fantasies.

I Want That… and the Open Nest

Jahaira’s other partner lived hours away, which made it somehow easier. There was a tremendous amount of communication, but in-person time was really limited. And then Jahaira found a second outside partner who was closer. And this prompted Marvin to seek to find this kind of bliss for himself.

And things got complicated for the adult kids. And it all had to come out into the open. This led to the family meeting… challenging to be sure… but full of openness and love… and complete honesty.

Resources for You

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

- ask to join and we’ll let you in

Polyamory

For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, this groundbreaking guide navigates the infinite possibilities that open relationships can offer. Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle–from self-reflection and honest communication to practicing safe sex and raising a family. Individuals and their partners will learn how to discuss and honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to define relationships on their own terms.